We won't sleep together?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
