Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
