We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
