Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
