Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
