You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
