Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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