I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
