Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
