is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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