Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
