seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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