I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
