No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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