I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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