hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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