Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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