final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
