You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
