fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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