could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
