also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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