If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
