Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need moral support for this bender
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wear drunk well.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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