Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the raccoons are back...
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