yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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