fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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