We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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