we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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