Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
