I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
