Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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