Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
