I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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