I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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