I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am naked and annoyed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
