My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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