dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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