youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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