my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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