nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
