I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
