Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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