you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
