they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's never too late to be topless.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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