Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
