If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
