Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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