Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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