you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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