Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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