I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
do herpes really smell.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
