It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
how does that bad decision feel?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
