but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
