My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize