Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
nutella sex= disaster
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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