hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
