This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
