First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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