I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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