Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
